Glory hole

According to Chambers dictionary a glory hole is ' a room, cupboard, drawer, etc where odds and ends are kept, especially in a disorganized way'. I always thought that a glory hole was a hole for a man to put his doofer through for nefarious sexual purposes. Which is why I was somewhat surprised when I let the electricity meter reading man into my mum's house only to hear her apologise 'I'm afraid you'll have to step into the glory hole'. It is hard to ascertain whether the man's smirk came as a result of being asked to insert himself in a ragged edged hole or a polite smile at my mum's embarrassment over the mess in the cupboard under the stairs. Naturally I couldn't wait for him to leave so I could ask my mum just what the hell she was trying to instigate. A disagreement ensued and the dictionary was brought down from the shelf and closed with a murmur 'what kind of monster have I raised?'

We were actually doing a jigsaw at the time (Shops and Pubs of London, in case you were wondering - a subject close to my heart having visited the great city one and a half times) - a pastime which I confess to finding quite enjoyable, perfect accompanied by a can of lager in the barren period between Countdown and Neighbours. Not long after the electricity man left the lady-who-collects-the-money-for-the-parish-magazine arrived. Up to now she's always been a bit part player without a back story (or at least I have only encountered her as a child and therefore assumed she didn't exist when she wasn't walking past my house looking for money for the parish magazine). While my mum ferreted about looking for money for the parish magazine (have you read it, by the way? It's never been the same since Jean's Jottings got axed) I discovered that she had also been a nurse and had been in charge of Project 2000 at the college. I'm sure the 4 o'clock can of Stella seemed a fitting tribute to the professionalism of nursing today. My mum pointed out later that she might not have realised it was me and not her that was drinking it. I said 'that would be much better, everyone in the village will just think that you're not coping'.