I have found, this year, that the cards on offer for Mother's Day are unusually saccharine. I suppose they do normally have a 'I Love You Mum' theme, but I have always preferred the 'You're a Rubbish Cook Mum!' or 'You Have Poor Parenting Skills and Cannot Cut Hair' sort of cards. After ten minutes of pulling 'ew, spew!' faces in Fenwicks Mother's Day section I decided to just look for a randomly insulting card in the 'blank for own message' rack. Hurrah! I found one insulting Mother's knitting skills.
A card saying how lovely Mum is would no doubt raise a smile, but would it get on the toilet wall with the other funny cards? No, it would not. And, in the most extreme case of sibling rivalry, I like to keep check that I have more cards on the hallowed toilet wall than my brother has. I don't think that my brother is actually aware of this competition and I suspect he wouldn't care if he was aware. But I care! I must be triumphant! I felt quite embarrassed by this insane level of competition until, after I commented on his mum having a very similar toilet wall card display, Nick said 'yeah, I bought most of them'. Ha! Melon seller! I mean, oh, you do that too?
4 comments:
Yowser - I bought that exact card for my Mum for her birthday.
It's a rubbish Mothers' Day card, though. This, is a Mother's Day card.
Fancy that!
That is indeed a mother's day card - though mine would prefer David Essex I'm sure.
What's this girls with 'problems down there' malarkey? You are fast emerging as the world's foremost expert on hirsutism.
I can't remember my password. Bum.
I'm not sure really - I'm just being rude like the big kids. Anyway, I don't know why I'm commenting on /your/ blog while you're 1. anonymous and 2. not commenting on mine. Yet again it's a case of one rule for someone who may or may not be Helen Parker, and one rule for everyone else. Sort of.
Because 1. Helen Parker knows best and 2. er, Helen Parker knows best?
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